hello all,i have just signed up to do a comedy course.
it starts in september.in order to get a headstart, i did my first 5 minutes tonight about jws.i explained that i celebrated my first birthday last week.
bemusement and a tittle.explained that if you could choose between hare krishnas and people standing at a trolley/cart as a religion who would you choose?got a laugh.explained that the whole world will be destroyed if you do not listen to our message, yet we are not prepared to initiate a conversation at a trolley.big laugh.
Let the audience know that a "Jehovah's Witness Assembly Hall" isn't the place where JW's are manufactured.
Explain to them that New Lite is old doctrine that has been put on a diet.
Tell them that the literature trolleys they are seeing around town, are a direct result of inexpensive and easy to install Bible Detectors having become available at Home Depot and the reason no one answers their doors to JW's anymore.
her: "i'm really going enjoy talking to young billy about his masturbation problem".
him: "yes, we don't him to turn out out gay, we want him to have a happy marriage filled with hours and hours of reading propaganda together.
even the stuff that is in no way applicable to our lives.
so my mam visited today.
she recently went to convention in north east england, newcastle i think they still have them at.
before she left she said (this is her exact words btw) "you have put me in a difficult position and i can't come to see you anymore".. she told me that as i live with my partner and we are unmarried that she can't visit anymore.
Tell your Mum that she's welcome to visit you anytime andyou hope that one day she will develop enough faith in Jehovah to realize that he has the ability to protect her from any harm that you and your daughter may try to inflict on her.
here's some bumper stickers recently spotted:.
honk!
if you had sex with the president.
How could I have forgotten about Marla?
the answer posted on jw.org: "no.
many millions who lived in centuries past and who weren’t jehovah’s witnesses will have an opportunity for salvation.
additionally, many now living may yet begin to serve god, and they too will gain salvation.
They'll tell you it's not for them to say who will be saved or not and that they leave it up to Jehovah yet on the other hand, they'll say that all who've come to an accurate knowledge and haven't dedicated their lives in baptism, will perish. They also say their ministry is a never to be repeated life saving work done out of love for their fellow man so that more lives will be spared at Armageddon .
My younger sister, when she was small, used to burst out in tears at the meeting when this topic was discussed because our father studied for years but just couldn't make himself go from door to door. Consequently, they wouldn't let him get baptized so he eventually stopped coming to the meeting. My sister would come home crying to our Dad "Please come to meetings again...I don't want you to get "Stroyed" which was her word for "Destroyed". Our kind and loving father used to comfort her then look at Mom and say under his breath through clenched teeth "Why do they have to say these things in front of the Children?"
Nowadays, I like to ask JW's "why all the supposed urgency in your ministry if you don't think it's only JW's who'll be saved? Why is it like a death in the family when someone's son or daughter leaves the organization? What about churchgoing little old Mrs. Jones next door...will she die if she doesn't stop her charity work and renounce her church membership and become a JW? After all she's part of Babylon the Great...right?
Then they say..."Well we don't judge", to which I say "Oh but you do...you've labeled every other religion as false worship and as being backed by Satan and if all those who have been warned, don't "get out of her" by becoming a JW, they will go down with her at Armageddon.
This is another one of those occasions that usually ends in their eyes glazing over and pretending they don't see the logic or them denying that's what they believe.
here's some bumper stickers recently spotted:.
honk!
if you had sex with the president.
"Jane Wyman was right!"
Doc
Thought I'd update this opinion of Ronald Regan to fit today's hoopla.
so at the meeting this week it was announced that a certain brother was no longer serving as a ministerial servant.. this is a guy who was brought up in a different country as his family went to serve where the need was greater.
this is a guy who was home schooled and went straight into pioneering.
he then went and worked on building projects in various places in europe and africa.
His wife was crying after the announcement, no doubt shamed at the step down and lamenting that she no longer can live her WT goals vicariously anymore.
Ha...that's so true and it's encouraged that single JW women seek out single JW men with positions in the congregation. Perhaps he was privately reproved for something, hence the tears. Either way, any move backwards, planned or otherwise, is a big deal in JW land.
When I returned from my year at Bethel, an Elder asked me in front of a bunch of people why I only stayed for one year. I said " You grew up in the truth....why didn't you go to Bethel at all?"
I remember a nice young pioneer sister in our congregation became engaged and decided to stop pioneering so she could work and save for a place of their own. At the end of the Thursday meeting, the P.O got up and said "I have a sad announcement to make...Mary Smith will no longer be among the ranks of our pioneers".
But for the sound of Mary sobbing at her seat, you could have heard a pin drop. It was like they announced a death.
at the assembly i noticed something new and disturbing.
when a brother is introduced before a talk the audience is now given their life history/ major accomplishments .. "brother arsehole who served at bethal for five years, pioneered in the foreign language territory for ten years, is an elder in x congregation and serves in the construction projects blah blah blah".
this puffing up never used to happen?
Matt 6:2 Therefore when you do merciful deeds, don't sound a trumpet before yourself, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may get glory from men. Most certainly I tell you, they have received their reward.
Ones "service" to Jehovah is meant to be done out of love for him and love for ones fellowman. Listing a speakers JW related accomplishments before he gives a talk is a way of boosting his personal credibility and a way of humbling the audience so they will be impressed enough to listen obey and be blessed.
I heard one such (late 50ish )brother give a talk where all of his Watchtower related accomplishments were listed before he got on stage. (Circuit Work, Pioneer, Gilead, etc) He proceeded to give a very authoritative talk that was peppered with disdainful comments about the world and its so called accomplishments.
The very next week I saw him wearing a hair net and and apron, handing out cheese samples at Costco. Not that there's anything wrong with that but It was ironic to go from seeing him in a $500.00 suit being lauded by thousands and making scathing remarks about everything and anyone non JW to handing out bits of cheese to cart pushing shoppers.
Since leaving the Circuit Work for health reasons, he and his wife/are
were living in the apartment attached to our Kingdom Hall and the
congregation pays for their utilities in exchange for special talks once
in awhile on Sunday. One part of me felt sorry for him and the other part was annoyed at his arrogance and condemnation toward those in the world. After all....what is he really doing...what is he really accomplishing himself to be able to condemn all those who actually are helping people in a real way in the here and now.
i just saw this on the link below.. https://youtu.be/tigp4huuigy.
the question that's raised is.
why would wt want to use a 3rd party in order to recieve donations.
"I couldn't believe they would allow an outside vendor handle it, and it sounds like each congregation is gonna be charged $10 a month to use the service"
I haven't listened to the video yet but I wonder if the "outside vendor" is a subsidiary of the Watchtower or owned by a JW? Or perhaps there is a security issue that is too involved for them to monitor at Bethel.
In either case, it's odd that bad don't use an outside vendor to handle the printing so they wouldn't need a factory and workers to work in the factory and workers to maintain the factory and workers to support the factory workers and a farm and dormitories to feed and house them all. Their properties and the personnel to maintain the properties are their biggest expense.
so my wife is really nervous about having lunch with her mother today.
she is an über-dub who is always asking probing questions as to our spirituality.
i think she knows that we are fading out.
Mom: How did you like the assembly? How's your field service going? Did you read that article in the last Magazine about...
Daughter: I don't want to come off as being overly touchy about this but I notice that whenever we are together you ask me a lot of questions that lead me to believe you are worried about my spirituality or my relationship with Jehovah.
Mom: Well yes....I am worried that you might be getting spiritually weak.
Daughter: I appreciate your concern for me Mom but you do realize that an individuals spirituality and their relationship with God is personal thing and asking those kinds of questions, sort of comes off as if you are monitoring that relationship. Its so nice when we get to talk about day to day things and you treat me as someone who is capable of managing her own life.
Mom: So I'm not supposed to talk to you about anything having to do with the TRUTH?
Daughter: I don't mind you want to tell me what you've been doing but you have to let me do the same, if I chose to. OK? Here...try some of this new salad dressing....it's wonderful !
Mom: You're my daughter after all and I want to make sure you're doing ok.
Daughter: I know you do Mom, but there comes a point where youre just going to have to trust that I am able to handle that myself, just as you'd do for anyone else, OK? (smiling) So how's your Salad....is it everything you hoped it would be ?
